I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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