True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
