dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
