I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
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