Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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