is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
