nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
