if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
True but thats because hes a fetus.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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