So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
