We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
