Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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