I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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