im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
