The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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