My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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