is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
