There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize