thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
