So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish you could order shots online.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
