I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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