Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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