i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
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I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
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went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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