i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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