please come you make the beer taste better
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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