dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am spending my child support on dildos
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
