I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize