trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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