I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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