I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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