i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
