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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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