Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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