so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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