his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
