Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
did i just pee glitter
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
