i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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