They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
