K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize