there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
