i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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