Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
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you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
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The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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