this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
