I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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