Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize