I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
