remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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