there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
