She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
