I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
