bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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