I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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