Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
