so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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