I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
