He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
