hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My bed smells like the plague
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
