I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
