If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
