So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
