I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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