So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
