you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
